Do you Practice Safe Sex in a Monogamous Relationship?
With infidelity statistics through the roof, you really can never be too careful when it comes to protecting yourself from STDs and AIDS, regardless if you are in a monogamous relationship or single and dating. An estimated one million people are currently living with AIDS in America and 40,000 new infections reported every year, 70% being men and 30% being women. Misspoli posted an interesting question on TeamSugar that I wanted to ask all of you.
Are Condoms a "Grudge Purchase" to You?
Condom makers and marketers are trying to make condoms less of a grudge purchase and more of a "Woohoo! I’m going to have sex with these!" purchase.
Why Do People Still Engage in Unsafe Sex?
Last week TMZ captured Tila Tequila outing herself for not practicing safe sex. As we all know, STIs are running rampant. They are not something that should be taken lightly, or even joked about for that matter, which is why I'm pretty surprised that someone who is in the public eye would make a comment like that.
Dear Poll: If Your One Night Stand Got You Pregnant...
In a previous poll, 41 percent of you said you were all for casual sex, but only 11 percent admitted to having a one night stand. Regardless of the kind of sexual partners you've had, sometimes we aren't as safe as we should be, leaving some chance for unexpected pregnancy. So what would you do if you found out you were pregnant by a man you had no intention of pursuing a relationship with or ever seeing again?
Good Idea or Bad Idea: Dating Multiple People at Once
Until you have "the talk," is it fair game to date multiple people at the same time? Assuming you are practicing safe sex, some people just assume it is par for the course, but others think dating more than one person is sleazy and dubious. Of course every couple is different and everyone has their own opinions on the rules of dating, but what I want to know is, do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea to date more than one person at a time?
Oral Sex Doesn't Equal Safe Sex
I hate to bring up this not-so-fun topic, but I'm concerned. Many of my friends have dated guys that they wouldn't have sex because they were worried about STIs, but they didn't seem the least bit worried about having oral sex. When your mouth has contact with someone else's business, you can very well get a whole plethora of STIs — the problem is that many of these sexually transmitted infections are asymptomatic, which means you can't tell if someone is infected just by looking at them.
How Well Do You Know Yeast Infections?
If you're a woman, chances are you've had to endure at least one horribly uncomfortable yeast infection in your lifetime. If you hadn't heard yet, there may be a yeast infection vaccine in our future which could help to prevent future infections, but until then, take this little quiz to see what you know about yeast infections, their causes, and how they relate to sex.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sex withou Regret, What safe for you??
What safe for you?
Very few things we do when having sex are likely to result in HIV. When you know the basics of how HIV can be passed on, you can decide what means for you. For a sexual activity to pass on HIV there has to be:
a person
a bodily fluid with HIV in it (cum or blood)
enough HIV in that fluid to be passed on
another person
a way for the HIV to get into the other person's bloodstream
Without all of these things, it is impossible for HIV to be passed on. The amount of HIV in the blood and cum of a person varies over time. The more virus there is, the more chance there is of being able to pass on HIV. This is called viral load. A person has the greatest viral load and is most able to pass on HIV immediately after they have just gotten HIV themselves (and may not even know they have HIV). So let's look at what we enjoy doing and how to reduce the chance of HIV being passed on.
HIV cannot be spread by spit. There is no evidence that kissing or cuddling could lead to HIV being passed on. However, try to avoid deep kissing if both you and your partner have:
open mouth sores
open cuts in the mouth
bleeding lips or gums as these involve blood and there's a small chance of HIV being passed on.
: Mutual Masturbation
HIV is NOT passed on by:
wanking, either alone or with someone else
massage and body stroking
cumming on somebody (if there are no open cuts or sores) Avoid using someone else's cum as a lubricant. It might enter the tip of the cock, or small abrasions on your cock. This might allow HIV to be passed into the blood stream.
Sucking and being sucked
HIV is not passed on from the mouth to someone else's cock. There are a small number of recorded cases of people getting HIV from taking cum into their mouth. In almost all of the cases the person had herpes sores, cuts or infections in their mouth. It isn't easy for HIV to enter the bloodstream via the mouth or throat. If you're and there is any bleeding in your mouth, or if you have a gum disease or other oral infections (such as a sore throat) take extra care. Brushing your teeth before oral sex can give you bleeding gums. To be really safe, you can pull his cock out of your mouth before he cums, so that you do not get cum in your mouth. A condom on the cock you're sucking is an ultra-safe strategy.
: Licking out
Rimming, licking another person's arse, does not pass on HIV. However, some other serious illnesses such as viral hepatitis are easily passed on this way. You can use sheets of clear plastic food wrap or a dental dam as protection.
: Passive fucking
If you're , being fucked by another guy's cock up your arse without a condom is the most likely way of getting HIV, if you're not 100% certain of your partner's HIV status, or if you know your sex partner is . Cum that carries HIV can easily enter the bloodstream through the lining of the arse and through small cuts or abrasions that occur during fucking. Having your sex partner use a condom with a water-based lubricant is the best way to reduce the chances of getting or giving HIV or other STDs.
: Active fucking
If you're , fucking another guy up the arse without a condom on your cock is another likely way of getting HIV, if you're not 100% certain of your sex partner's HIV status, or if you know your sex partner is . Many guys think that because they're the one doing the fucking, the HIV can't enter their body. but it can enter the cock through the opening at the tip (the meatus), or through tiny cuts or scratches on the cock. Reduce the chances of getting or giving HIV by using a condom and a water-based lubricant.
Try experimenting with condoms before using them for sex. Get yourself used to the feel of them. Wank with them on. Try tearing one or two while you've got them on, so that you can feel what that's like. You can feel the difference, so that if a condom tears when you're fucking, you'll know when to pull out.
Put the condom on before starting to fuck, not just before you're about to cum.
When putting the condom on, squeeze the air out of the tip first. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of your cock to prevent it slipping off.
If you're uncircumcised, pull your foreskin back before fitting the condom on. You might need to practice to find out how to get a condom to stay on.
Choose a brand of condoms that suits your cock size and shape.
: Pulling out
Withdrawal (pulling out before cumming) does not protect you from giving or getting HIV. Some guys do this as a way to have the thrill of fucking without using condoms, thinking that if the person fucking pulls out in time, this counts as safe sex. This isn't true. Withdrawal can still lead to HIV being passed on because:
if you're the active partner (the one doing the fucking) blood from your partner's arse can still enter the hole at the tip of your cock, or get into tiny scratches or cuts on your cock.
if you're the passive partner (the one being fucked), there's no guarantee that your partner won't cum in your arse. Withdrawal before orgasm is a very difficult thing to time perfectly! Again, using condoms and a water-based lubricant can prevent this risk. Many gay men in Australia who have recently tested reported that they thought withdrawal was safe.
Some people will tell you that condoms often break. However, often the mistakes that people make that lead to condom breakage can be easily corrected. Condoms aren't 100% reliable, but using them correctly is the best way there is to make fucking safe. Remember the following:
Use lots of water-based lubricant such as KY jelly, Wet Stuff, Glyde or Lubafax. Some people mistakenly use oil based lubricants like Vaseline, baby oil, hand creams, Intensive Care or other oil based lubes, without realising that these actually dissolve the latex of the condom, leading to breakages.
Check the use by date on your condoms. Avoid using out-of-date condoms.
Be sure to buy condoms made to Australian standards-check the outside of the pack.
Never leave condoms out in the sun, or near any sharp objects that might damage them, or in the glove box of your car for a prolonged period of time.
Don't store your condoms near extreme heat or cold.
Don't use ultra-thin condoms as these are designed for vaginal sex. Anal sex puts more stress on condoms. Use extra strength condoms for anal sex.
"Negotiated Safety"
Some people who share the same known HIV status choose to fuck without condoms. This can only be safe when you both know for certain that you're bothor both . Discuss with your partner how important it is for you to fuck without condoms. If it's not that important, then keep using them. If you want to fuck without condoms, then here are some steps you could follow:
If you're both
Talk with your doctor about the possible effects of being exposed to another strain of the virus. It's your choice to enjoy unprotected fucking with anotherperson if you both want to.
If you think you're both
If you both want to fuck without condoms, then both get tested for HIV. Be completely honest about your results, or agree to go and get tested and collect your results together. What would it mean if one of you had HIV and the other didn't? Talk about this first. If it would mean the end of the relationship then maybe you should just keep using condoms? Continue to use condoms every time you fuck for 3 months after either of you could possibly have come into contact with HIV. After 3 months, both get tested again.
If one of you has HIV and the other does not
Keep using condoms and water-based lubricant every time you fuck. If you need support around this contact the PLC (Positive Living Centre) or other agencies listed on the Directory page.
If you know you're both
Discuss your future plans. Make a commitment to each other that you'll avoid fucking outside of your relationship (this strategy is more successful) or that if either of you fuck with anyone else you will use condoms (this strategy is less successful). You will need to make a decision about trusting each other. Make a commitment that if either of you has a slip-up or an accident that results in unsafe sex outside of the relationship, you'll agree to tell the other immediately. You'll need to go back to safe sex until you've both been tested twice again 3 months apart.
Talk with each other about how slip-ups or accidents might happen. Agree in advance that it won't mean the end of your relationship. Don't punish your partner for being honest.
You might want to agree in advance that either partner can insist on using condoms again, without having to explain why.
If all of this seems like too much to handle, then keep using condoms whenever you fuck.
HIV can be passed on during vaginal sex. The virus is found in both cum and vaginal fluids. If you're fucking with a woman the best way to prevent HIV being passed on either way is to use a condom with water-based lubricant.HIV is unlikely to be passed on in oral sex when a man is going down on a woman although the risk increases if there is menstrual blood. If there are cuts or sores on the man's mouth sheets of clear plastic food wrap, or a dental dam, can be used to protect against HIV being passed on. Check out the range of heterosexual safe sex information available.
Using drugs or alcohol might affect your ability to make sensible decisions about having safe sex, and your ability to let your partner know what you want. It's a good idea to make the choice to be prepared for safe sex before using drugs and alcohol. Making sure you've always got condoms and water-based lubricant with you can make it easier decision to have sex without regret.
If you inject drugs remember that each person should use a new clean needle and other equipment every time. Do not share needles, swabs, spoons, filters or tourniquets! SAVIVE at the AIDS Council of South Australia offers a 24 hour needle exchange. Cleaning fits for 5 minutes with strong bleach is not 100% safe. Ring SAVIVE on (08) 362 9299 for further information.
Being committed to safe sex all the time isn't easy. There are always going to be times when it's hard to stick to safe sex. It's important to be able to talk about this with people we trust. We should not be judgmental if friends tell us that they have had a slip-up. Most gay men can remember or imagine what leads to an unsafe incident. Remember that slip-ups don't mean we've gone off the rails or that we are bad. Just make the decision to have safe sex in future-for a long life enjoying sex without regret.
Read more: http://www.managingdesire.org/
Very few things we do when having sex are likely to result in HIV. When you know the basics of how HIV can be passed on, you can decide what means for you. For a sexual activity to pass on HIV there has to be:
a person
a bodily fluid with HIV in it (cum or blood)
enough HIV in that fluid to be passed on
another person
a way for the HIV to get into the other person's bloodstream
Without all of these things, it is impossible for HIV to be passed on. The amount of HIV in the blood and cum of a person varies over time. The more virus there is, the more chance there is of being able to pass on HIV. This is called viral load. A person has the greatest viral load and is most able to pass on HIV immediately after they have just gotten HIV themselves (and may not even know they have HIV). So let's look at what we enjoy doing and how to reduce the chance of HIV being passed on.
HIV cannot be spread by spit. There is no evidence that kissing or cuddling could lead to HIV being passed on. However, try to avoid deep kissing if both you and your partner have:
open mouth sores
open cuts in the mouth
bleeding lips or gums as these involve blood and there's a small chance of HIV being passed on.
: Mutual Masturbation
HIV is NOT passed on by:
wanking, either alone or with someone else
massage and body stroking
cumming on somebody (if there are no open cuts or sores) Avoid using someone else's cum as a lubricant. It might enter the tip of the cock, or small abrasions on your cock. This might allow HIV to be passed into the blood stream.
Sucking and being sucked
HIV is not passed on from the mouth to someone else's cock. There are a small number of recorded cases of people getting HIV from taking cum into their mouth. In almost all of the cases the person had herpes sores, cuts or infections in their mouth. It isn't easy for HIV to enter the bloodstream via the mouth or throat. If you're and there is any bleeding in your mouth, or if you have a gum disease or other oral infections (such as a sore throat) take extra care. Brushing your teeth before oral sex can give you bleeding gums. To be really safe, you can pull his cock out of your mouth before he cums, so that you do not get cum in your mouth. A condom on the cock you're sucking is an ultra-safe strategy.
: Licking out
Rimming, licking another person's arse, does not pass on HIV. However, some other serious illnesses such as viral hepatitis are easily passed on this way. You can use sheets of clear plastic food wrap or a dental dam as protection.
: Passive fucking
If you're , being fucked by another guy's cock up your arse without a condom is the most likely way of getting HIV, if you're not 100% certain of your partner's HIV status, or if you know your sex partner is . Cum that carries HIV can easily enter the bloodstream through the lining of the arse and through small cuts or abrasions that occur during fucking. Having your sex partner use a condom with a water-based lubricant is the best way to reduce the chances of getting or giving HIV or other STDs.
: Active fucking
If you're , fucking another guy up the arse without a condom on your cock is another likely way of getting HIV, if you're not 100% certain of your sex partner's HIV status, or if you know your sex partner is . Many guys think that because they're the one doing the fucking, the HIV can't enter their body. but it can enter the cock through the opening at the tip (the meatus), or through tiny cuts or scratches on the cock. Reduce the chances of getting or giving HIV by using a condom and a water-based lubricant.
Try experimenting with condoms before using them for sex. Get yourself used to the feel of them. Wank with them on. Try tearing one or two while you've got them on, so that you can feel what that's like. You can feel the difference, so that if a condom tears when you're fucking, you'll know when to pull out.
Put the condom on before starting to fuck, not just before you're about to cum.
When putting the condom on, squeeze the air out of the tip first. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of your cock to prevent it slipping off.
If you're uncircumcised, pull your foreskin back before fitting the condom on. You might need to practice to find out how to get a condom to stay on.
Choose a brand of condoms that suits your cock size and shape.
: Pulling out
Withdrawal (pulling out before cumming) does not protect you from giving or getting HIV. Some guys do this as a way to have the thrill of fucking without using condoms, thinking that if the person fucking pulls out in time, this counts as safe sex. This isn't true. Withdrawal can still lead to HIV being passed on because:
if you're the active partner (the one doing the fucking) blood from your partner's arse can still enter the hole at the tip of your cock, or get into tiny scratches or cuts on your cock.
if you're the passive partner (the one being fucked), there's no guarantee that your partner won't cum in your arse. Withdrawal before orgasm is a very difficult thing to time perfectly! Again, using condoms and a water-based lubricant can prevent this risk. Many gay men in Australia who have recently tested reported that they thought withdrawal was safe.
Some people will tell you that condoms often break. However, often the mistakes that people make that lead to condom breakage can be easily corrected. Condoms aren't 100% reliable, but using them correctly is the best way there is to make fucking safe. Remember the following:
Use lots of water-based lubricant such as KY jelly, Wet Stuff, Glyde or Lubafax. Some people mistakenly use oil based lubricants like Vaseline, baby oil, hand creams, Intensive Care or other oil based lubes, without realising that these actually dissolve the latex of the condom, leading to breakages.
Check the use by date on your condoms. Avoid using out-of-date condoms.
Be sure to buy condoms made to Australian standards-check the outside of the pack.
Never leave condoms out in the sun, or near any sharp objects that might damage them, or in the glove box of your car for a prolonged period of time.
Don't store your condoms near extreme heat or cold.
Don't use ultra-thin condoms as these are designed for vaginal sex. Anal sex puts more stress on condoms. Use extra strength condoms for anal sex.
"Negotiated Safety"
Some people who share the same known HIV status choose to fuck without condoms. This can only be safe when you both know for certain that you're bothor both . Discuss with your partner how important it is for you to fuck without condoms. If it's not that important, then keep using them. If you want to fuck without condoms, then here are some steps you could follow:
If you're both
Talk with your doctor about the possible effects of being exposed to another strain of the virus. It's your choice to enjoy unprotected fucking with anotherperson if you both want to.
If you think you're both
If you both want to fuck without condoms, then both get tested for HIV. Be completely honest about your results, or agree to go and get tested and collect your results together. What would it mean if one of you had HIV and the other didn't? Talk about this first. If it would mean the end of the relationship then maybe you should just keep using condoms? Continue to use condoms every time you fuck for 3 months after either of you could possibly have come into contact with HIV. After 3 months, both get tested again.
If one of you has HIV and the other does not
Keep using condoms and water-based lubricant every time you fuck. If you need support around this contact the PLC (Positive Living Centre) or other agencies listed on the Directory page.
If you know you're both
Discuss your future plans. Make a commitment to each other that you'll avoid fucking outside of your relationship (this strategy is more successful) or that if either of you fuck with anyone else you will use condoms (this strategy is less successful). You will need to make a decision about trusting each other. Make a commitment that if either of you has a slip-up or an accident that results in unsafe sex outside of the relationship, you'll agree to tell the other immediately. You'll need to go back to safe sex until you've both been tested twice again 3 months apart.
Talk with each other about how slip-ups or accidents might happen. Agree in advance that it won't mean the end of your relationship. Don't punish your partner for being honest.
You might want to agree in advance that either partner can insist on using condoms again, without having to explain why.
If all of this seems like too much to handle, then keep using condoms whenever you fuck.
HIV can be passed on during vaginal sex. The virus is found in both cum and vaginal fluids. If you're fucking with a woman the best way to prevent HIV being passed on either way is to use a condom with water-based lubricant.HIV is unlikely to be passed on in oral sex when a man is going down on a woman although the risk increases if there is menstrual blood. If there are cuts or sores on the man's mouth sheets of clear plastic food wrap, or a dental dam, can be used to protect against HIV being passed on. Check out the range of heterosexual safe sex information available.
Using drugs or alcohol might affect your ability to make sensible decisions about having safe sex, and your ability to let your partner know what you want. It's a good idea to make the choice to be prepared for safe sex before using drugs and alcohol. Making sure you've always got condoms and water-based lubricant with you can make it easier decision to have sex without regret.
If you inject drugs remember that each person should use a new clean needle and other equipment every time. Do not share needles, swabs, spoons, filters or tourniquets! SAVIVE at the AIDS Council of South Australia offers a 24 hour needle exchange. Cleaning fits for 5 minutes with strong bleach is not 100% safe. Ring SAVIVE on (08) 362 9299 for further information.
Being committed to safe sex all the time isn't easy. There are always going to be times when it's hard to stick to safe sex. It's important to be able to talk about this with people we trust. We should not be judgmental if friends tell us that they have had a slip-up. Most gay men can remember or imagine what leads to an unsafe incident. Remember that slip-ups don't mean we've gone off the rails or that we are bad. Just make the decision to have safe sex in future-for a long life enjoying sex without regret.
Read more: http://www.managingdesire.org/
Monday, August 3, 2009
Ladies--You Need HIV Testing Too-at MSI Cambodia
Don't forget ladies that HIV is important to you!
Please see the following information from the Gay Mens Health Crisis in New York: It applies in Cambodia too! MSI supports our Khmer women--be strong ladies!
Source: http://www.gmhc.org/programs/wi/not_taking_it.html
The 2009 HIV — We're Not Taking It Lying Down campaign, co-branded by the Women's Institute at GMHC and Iris House, continues to boldly celebrate and reclaim the sexuality, sexual health and strength of women of color. This provocative HIV prevention and testing campaign is being re-launched during Women's History Month in March 2009 to honor the rich history of African-American women and women of color in our communities. Institutionalized racism, poverty and violence create environments of risk. This message reflects the programming and service of the Women's Institute at GMHC and Iris House, both of which address the sexual, gender and power dynamics women face in their lives and relationships.
Both the Women's Institute at GMHC and Iris House promote safer and satisfying sex that's consensual and in one's control. We subscribe to the idea that women don't have to "take it lying down." Testing regularly for HIV is but one way to take control.
Iris House provides services for women, families and communities infected with and affected by HIV/AIDS. In addition to providing family-centered services that promote prevention, education and awareness, Iris House also offers practical services that address the day-to-day needs and reality of living with HIV/AIDS. Iris House provides nutritional counseling and meal programs, intensive case management, scatter site housing, mental health services and support groups, and job and life skills training. Since opening its doors in 1993, Iris House has assisted more than 1,800 individuals cope with HIV/AIDS.
The Women's Institute at GMHC provides community health education, prevention programming and advocacy on behalf of women and families living with and affected by HIV and AIDS. We honor women of color by challenging social, economic and political frameworks that put women's health at risk.
Please see the following information from the Gay Mens Health Crisis in New York: It applies in Cambodia too! MSI supports our Khmer women--be strong ladies!
Source: http://www.gmhc.org/programs/wi/not_taking_it.html
The 2009 HIV — We're Not Taking It Lying Down campaign, co-branded by the Women's Institute at GMHC and Iris House, continues to boldly celebrate and reclaim the sexuality, sexual health and strength of women of color. This provocative HIV prevention and testing campaign is being re-launched during Women's History Month in March 2009 to honor the rich history of African-American women and women of color in our communities. Institutionalized racism, poverty and violence create environments of risk. This message reflects the programming and service of the Women's Institute at GMHC and Iris House, both of which address the sexual, gender and power dynamics women face in their lives and relationships.
Both the Women's Institute at GMHC and Iris House promote safer and satisfying sex that's consensual and in one's control. We subscribe to the idea that women don't have to "take it lying down." Testing regularly for HIV is but one way to take control.
Iris House provides services for women, families and communities infected with and affected by HIV/AIDS. In addition to providing family-centered services that promote prevention, education and awareness, Iris House also offers practical services that address the day-to-day needs and reality of living with HIV/AIDS. Iris House provides nutritional counseling and meal programs, intensive case management, scatter site housing, mental health services and support groups, and job and life skills training. Since opening its doors in 1993, Iris House has assisted more than 1,800 individuals cope with HIV/AIDS.
The Women's Institute at GMHC provides community health education, prevention programming and advocacy on behalf of women and families living with and affected by HIV and AIDS. We honor women of color by challenging social, economic and political frameworks that put women's health at risk.
Wrap It Up! Watch Chi Chi LeRues Video on Safe Sex
Hey Guys,
I just saw the best video with one message, "wrap it up!" You'll love it":
I just saw the best video with one message, "wrap it up!" You'll love it":
Donations Welcome for Aug. 22 PRIDE 2010 LGBT Phnom Penh Meeting
Greetings Cambodia LGBT members and supporters:
We are having a community get-together on August 22, 2009 at 2:00 p.m. at Marie Stopes International Head Office (Phnom Penh).
#9, Street 476, Sangkat Toul Tompong I, Khan Chamka Morn
Phnom Penh
855 89 994 083 Ext. 124
Given that MSI-Cambodia is a not-for-profit NGO, we welcome any contributions with the meeting, including help with food, beverages, snacks.
We are discussing the 2010 Pride Event! Let's start planning now to make 2010 even better than the incredible 2009 Pride Event. You can also email me at:
srorn.srun@mariestopes.org.kh.
Thanks!
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